


I only Need Myself.

by Ellarae724



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Homeless Harry, M/M, Raped Harry Styles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:28:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29641632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellarae724/pseuds/Ellarae724
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

ring ring'

'ring ring'

he groans from the bed and reaches to grab his phone. 

"what?" 

"Is this Harry Styles?"

"yes."

"This is James Corden from the front office. I’m calling to inform you that if you do not show up to school in the next three days, we will have to contact the authorities." 1

"fine." and with that, he hangs up and throws his phone on the other side of the queen-sized guest bed. He turns on the side lamp and swings his legs over the size of the bed. stretching, he stands up and grabs a few articles of clothing before heading to the connected bathroom to shower. After his shower, he slips on some blue and black plaid boxers, his black supernatural sweats, and throws on a back sweater, no shirt. He walks into the kitchen to find his one and an only friend already awake. 

"Hey mate, we need to talk."

"ok what’s up ed?" ed starts fidgeting with his coffee cup. "well...you see, I got a job offer-"

"That's great," Harry says with a smile.

"yea...in America." Harry's smile drops. "when do you leave?"

"....tomorrow."

o-okay. I'll uh… I’ll just take my stuff with me then."

"Where are you going to stay?" Harry shrugs. 

"I’ll find a place. don't worry about me. you go to America. get that job. make sure to send me souvenirs." he smiles his dimpled smile and goes back to the room to pack his belongings. His clothes only fill up a single backpack so he decides he'll take it to school and shove it in his locker and find a place to crash after school. He checks the time once he's done. 7:50 

"great, by the time I get there, I’ll be late," he says with a sigh.

"I’ll give you a ride. yea?"

"Thanks, Ed." 

The drive is quiet but not uncomfortable. "Do you want some money for lunch?"

"Nah mate, it's all good." he lies.

"here." ed hold out a 10. Harry opens his mouth to reject it but Ed stops him. "take it Haz." Harry rolls his eyes and takes the money. He steps out and leans down. "thanks ed...for everything you've done." Edd nods and Harry grabs his bag, swings it over his shoulder, and walks away. When he walks into the school, he grits his teeth at the surroundings. He hasn't been to school in over a month. +

maybe there are new kids I can pick on

he walks into the front office and bumps into a blonde-haired kid. "watch it." he snarls.

  
  


s-sorry." the kid walks out the door and Harry rolls his eyes. "I need my schedule." a lady looks up from behind her desk. "are you new?"

"no. just haven't been here in a bit."

"ok. name and grade?"

"Harry Edward styles. junior." he gets his schedule and heads to find his locker. he gets there and sees pieces of paper sticking out of the vents, 'faggot' carved in it, and a dick drawn in sharpie. he rolls his eyes and opens it. all kinds of paper fall out and he just kicks it aside. The halls are empty so he quickly shoves his bag into the locker and walks to his first class. He gets there, puts on a bored expression, and walks in where he's greeted by the teacher. "Harry, how nice of you to join us after so long." Harry rolls his eyes for the umpteenth time today and heads to the back of the class. He puts his hoodie up, heads down, and ignores the teacher's lesson.


	2. Chapter 2

The bell rings, waking him up and he heads to his next class, where he's greeted the same way as before. He's awake the whole class but doesn't pay any attention, just sets his feel up on the desk and tunes her out. his next few classes are the same. 

when the lunch bell rings, he walks to the nearby store. he buys a water bottle and a lunchable, saving money so he has enough for supper. as he walks out, he bumps into the same blonde boy as before. but this time he has three others with him. "watch where you're going kid. thats the second time you've run into me." he growls. He doesn't really like being mean and grouchy but it keeps him safe. +

"sorry, i'm really clumsy." the boy says with a thick irish accent.

"clearly." Harry remarks and starts to walk away but stops when he feels a large hand on his shoulder. He immediately flinches away and turns around. "sorry, wasn't trying to scare you. you dropped this." he grabs the water bottle and puts on his bored expression once again. "It's fine." He turns to leave once again but hears his name being called. He turns around and doesn't see anyone. 

"harry!" He looks around and sees Ed crossing the street. "ed?" he pulls Harry into a hug. "hey man, is it lunch time already?" Harry nods. "oh okay, well, you better get back to school." Harry groans at the mention of school. "I know but you have to haz." Harry shrugs and hugs him again. "Okay I've got to go, they just gave me the keys to my car for when I get there. i need to finish packing my things." harry smiles at his older, red headed, green eyed, friend and waves ed off. he gets back to school and through the day without trouble. he's walking out of the building with his backpack hanging off his shoulder, when he bumps into one of the guys from the store who was with the blondie. "jesus fucking christ. are all of you fucking blind?"

"excuse me?"

"you heard me-"

"liam come on, i'm gonna be late." the blonde interrupts, pulling this liam guy away. Harry rolls his eyes and walks away.

~

Harry walks around for a few hours looking for a place to crash. a place that isn't too moldy and gross. While walking down a random street, he finds an abandoned house with not too much trash. He settles in and pulls his phone out. He's got a text from ed.

Ed ❤: have you found a place to stay?

Hazzy ❤: yep, all settled in

he pulls out his pack of cigarettes and lights one. inhaling the poisonous chemicals. He knows he shouldn't smoke but it helps relieve some stress. his phone rings and he answers it without hesitation. "hello?"

"hey! where are you staying? is it nice? have you got roommates?" Harry chuckles. "hey ed, yea, it's really nice and yes i've got a few roommates."

"really? how are they? are they being nice to you?"

"they're fine."

"When do I get to meet the lads then?"

"maybe when they come back from work, yea?"

"okay, well i've gotta go. my flight is in an hour."

"okay. bye ed!"

"bye haz! i'll miss you so much!"

"i'll miss you too!" and with that, Harry hangs up with tears in his eyes. He wipes them away and finishes his cigarette. He stands and counts his leftover money. He's got enough to buy a cheap sandwich. He walks to the nearest sandwich place. when he walks in, he's greeted by the same blonde from school. 

"good afternoon, how may i help you?" he says, his accent thick. "cheapest sandwich you've got."

"the cheapest one we have is five."

"that's fine. do you have anything to drink?"

"we have water, coke, dr. pepper, and...that's it."

"I'll take water."

"okay, the total is eight even." Harry looks down at his money and shakes his head. "nevermind, i don't have enough."

"oh um...okay." Harry walks out and lights another cigarette. "hey!" he turns around and sees the blonde. "what do you want?" Harry groans. "here." he hands Harry the sandwich and a water bottle. "I told you I don't have enough kids." he shakes his head. "Take it, I paid. by the way, my name is niall."

"I'm not taking that niall. i didn't pay for it."

"take it or i'll follow you home."

"fine." Harry says quickly. He puts his cigarette out, grabs it and walks away. He keeps walking but stops when he feels someone following him. He turns around but nobody is there. this happens at least three more times until he gets to the abandoned house he's staying in. He runs to the upstairs room where he left his stuff and lets out a sigh when he sees his bag still there. He lays out some dirty clothes and eats his food. He falls asleep shortly after.


	3. Chapter 3

the next day isn't any different. he didn't sleep much. he didn't have a blanket so he was stuck with only his clothes to keep him warm, which wasn't much use. he walks to school in the same clothes clothes as yesterday but it starts raining half way there. he's soaking wet when he gets to school. he goes to the nearest bathroom and starts ringing out his clothes. he grabs his toothbrush from his backpack and brushes his teeth. he decides to let his hair dry on its's own. he's putting his sweater back on, because he wants to save his clean clothes for another day since it's still raining, when none other than niall, the irish, blue eyed, blonde walks in. "oh um..hi/" he says awkwardly. "bye" harry says, grabbing his bag and walks quickly out the door. "wait!" harry turns around. "what?" +

"your going to get sick in those clothes."

"it's fine, i don't wanna be here anyways."

"come on. i'm sure we can find you some clothes in the lost and found." harry rolls his eyes. "i'm fine niall."

"better go with him." harry turns around to see that liam kid and two other guys behind him. he rolls his eyes once again and follows niall down the hall to the nurses office where the lost and found box is. niall starts rummaging through the clothes and then pulls out a light blue sweater with 'treat people with kindness' in rainbow colors. 

"is that the only one in there?" harry asks, rolling his eyes. niall hands it to harry and starts looking again. harry turns to see the three boys staring at him. "what?" the two unamed boys shake their heads. "your hair is long." liam comments. "yea, and?" liam shakes his head. "it's nice." harry raises his eyebrow at the boy. "li, leave him alone. here." niall says handing harry some black sweats.

"so, there's not other sweaters or shirts?" niall shakes his head and harry groans. "i'm not fuking wearing that. i'll just stay in this." niall rolls his eyes. "why are you being so dramatic?" harry scoffs. "because it's fucking blue." 

"so?" harry rolls his eyes once again. "i'm not wearing that okay. bye now." harry starts walking out but the three boys stand in the way. "let me by." harry growls. "what's your name?" liam asks. "if i tell you, will you leave me alone?" liam shrugs. "harry. harry styles." liam nods.

"i'm liam payne, this is louis tomlinson and zayn malik. you already know niall horan over there." liam says, pointing to each of the boys. "okay cool. now let me by." the boys move out of the way and harry walks past them but stops with a shiver. he turns to niall with a glare and walks back towards him. he snatches the blue sweater from niall's hand and says a harsh bye to the boys.

*during lunch*

harry stays in the school building, seeing as it's raining and he doesn't have anymore clothes he's willing to get dirty. he sat in an empty hallway listening to music on his phone as it charges. he pulled the sleeves to the light blue sweater down to cover his hands and pulls his legs up to his chest. he turned his music all the way up and makes sure no one is around to hear him whisper the lyrics to his favorite song. cough syrup. he heard it on a show called glee when him and ed binge watched it the week before and ever since then, he's been obsessed with it. 

life's too short to even care at all

oh

i'm losing my mind, losing my mind

losing control, oh

these fishes in the sea they're 

staring at me

oh, oh, oh

a wet world aches for a beat of a

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drum, oh

if i could find a way to see this

straight, i'd run away

to some fortune that i-i should have

found by now

i'm waiting for this cough syrup

to come down, come down

since his eyes were close, he didn't notice the four boys staring at him from down the hall. after a while though, he felt it and opened his eyes and looked around. no one there. 

'ring ring'

"jesus fuking christ!" he answers the facetime call from his friend and smiles. "hey ed, how's america?" 

"it's great man, i miss you already!" ed frowns. "i miss you too ed." harry smiles which makes ed smile. "oh, how are the roommates then?"

"they're fne. they actually come to the same school as me." he lies. "are they hot?" harry laughs. "i guess you could say that." ed smirks. "so, you gonna get some from one of them?" harry chuckles. "no way. i love with them, that would be weird. plus, i'm not one for sex. you know that ed." ed nods. "okay fine. well, how are they? what are the names?" harry thinks for a split second. "niall, louis, zayn and liam. one is irish." he lies. those are the only four names that popped into his head. harry sees four figures in the corner of his eye and turns. it's the four boys he just names. "oh okay- hey haz, i've got to go. bye! love you and miss you lots!" harry frowns and turns back to his phone. he quickly puts on a bored expression and replies. "okay, bye." he starts grabbing his things to leave. "hey harry." niall says, acting as if he didn't just hear harry lie about living with them. "um..hi." harry says, gathering the rest of his things. "where you headed?" louis asks. 

"home." harry lies, his face neutral. "but it's only lunch." liam says. "so?" harry asks, raising an eyebrow. "so, we still have more classes."

"and?" liam comes to the conclusion that he's not going to win this argument and lets out a heavy sigh. "okay, at least let one of us drive you since it's still rai-"

"no, i'm fine." harry says, interrupting liam. zayn and niall share a look of concern and harry starts walking away. "wait!" zayn calls and harry stops and turns around. "what?" harry growls. 

"um..i-it's raining. you'll get sick." zayn stutters nervously. "look, im fine so just leave me the hell alone alright?" harry says, trying not to sound too mean. he knows he shouldn't be mean at all because they're just trying to be nice to him but his wall is so high up that it just doesn't want to come down. he pulls his pack of cigarettes and puts one to his lips/ zayn smacks it out of his mouth. "what the fuck man?" harry growls. "that's bad for you."

"and?" harry asks, an eyebrow raised.

"we're in school." harry rolls his eyes. "fine, i'm leaving anyways." he starts walking away, puts another cigarette between his teeth and smirks back at zayn. he steps out and lights the cigarette. he inhales the poison and starts walking in the rain to the abandoned house he's currently staying in. it stops raining after a while so he's not that wet when he gets there. mainly his hair. he gets to the room he's sleeping in and throws his bag on the floor. he climbs out onti the room and puts another cigarette to his lips. he hesitates before lighting is, thinking about how zayn reacted. he shakes his head as a way to dry his hair. as he exhales, he sees a black car round the corner. it slows to a stop and four boys step out. "is this really where he's staying?" liam asks. niall nods. 

what the hell are they doing here?

he puts his head through the window and grabs his bag. he closes the window behind him. he quickly finishes his cigarette while he hears them scream his name. it gets colder and he starts shivering. "he's not here!" he hears niall scream.

what the hell do they want?

"what the hell do you want?" he yells, voicing his thoughts. "harry?" he hears louis question. zayn opens the window and sees harry. "harry get down."

"what do you w-want?" he shivers slightly. "come in. it's cold." zayn says. "it doesn't make a difference, it's bloody cold in there too." harry says, bored expression on his face. zayn crawls out and sits next to harry. 

"what are you doing?" harry asks. "if your not going in, neither am i." harry rolls his eyes. "zayn?" louis' head pokes out of the window. "up here babe!" zayn replies. 

babe?

he shrugs it off and rolls his eyes. "okay, why the fuck are ya'll following me?" harry asks as louis crawls onto the roof. "why are you staying in an abandoned house?" louis asks, ignoring harry's question. harry rolls his eyes once again. "okay, i'm leaving. bye." harry stands but almost slips so he sits back down. "son of a bitch." harry says under his breath. "let me help you." zayn says. "i'm fine." harry snaps. he starts crawling back towards the window but his pack of cigarettes fall out him pocket so he reaches for them. 

"son of a bitch." he growls as they fall in a puddle below. "ugh, that was my only pack."

"good, you don't need to be smoking anyways." zayn says with a smirk. harry rolls his eyes and crawls back in the window. as soon as he's in, he groans as he sees liam and niall sitting there in front of him with smiles plastered on their faces. "what the fuck do you guys want from me?" niall's face falls and liam stands. harry shivers and rubs his arms. someone bumps into him and he falls to the floor. "oh shit sorry harry." zayn says. "z, watch your mouth." liam says. zayn rolls his eyes and puts his hand out to help harry up. "sorry dad." zayn say sarcastically. harry slaps liam's hand away and stands. louis crawls in and they all stand in silence. "okay bye." harry says and books it towards the front door.


	4. Chapter 4

oi!"

"harry!"

"hey!"

"wait!" he ignores their calls and runs anywhere. somewhere away from these boys who just seem to be everywhere. 

seeing as its friday, i'll just see if there are any parties

he comes to a stop and pulls out a single saved cigarette and his phone. 

'ring ring'

'ring ring'

he mentally groans at the ringing before answering the call, cigarette hanging out of his mouth. +

"hey ed."

"hey haz, whatchu doin' tonight?" 

"i'm not sure. probably going to a party, why?" harry asks, inhaling the poisonous chemicals. "well, i want to meet the roommates haz. to see if they're good enough for my hazzy." ed laughs and harry rolls his eyes, taking another drag. "well, maybe another day yea?" harry chuckles. "wait, aren't you supposed to be in school right now?" harry sighs and takes another drag. "yea, wasn't feeling it." he shivers slightly. "where are you then?" harry takes another drag. "walking around." ed sighs on the other end of the phone. "don't get in trouble haz, please."

"i won't ed. i promise." harry takes another drag and then it's smacked out of his hand. "what the hell?" he looks up to see zayn. "what the fuck zayn?" harry growls. "harry?" ed calls. "i told you smoking is bad for you harry."

fuck

"smoking?! harry you promised you quit!"

"just stop okay! i'm fine. i'm old enough to make my own decisions!" he says to both his best/only friend and the raven haired guy in front of him. zayn rolls his eyes and puts his hand out. "ed i've got to go. bye"

"we're not done with this harry!" harry rolls his eyes and hangs up. zayn, hand still out, rolls his eyes again. "what?" harry asks, completely confused. "your pack."

"hell no. fuck off." harry backs away but bumps into the others. "what the fuck do you want from em?" he growls, pretty irritated. "to help." niall says. 

"i don't need your help." harry rolls his eyes, shivers once more and starts walking away. 

"harry where are you going?"

"anywhere you guys aren't."

"why are you sleeping in an abandoned house?" niall ask, walking along with harry. he told the others to stay behind. "none of your fuking business. now go away niall." harry says with a shiver. "c'mon it's cold. your going to get sick."

"i'm fine niall." niall grabs harry's arm and almost immediately, he flinches away. "dude what the hell?"

"please, i don't want you to get sick. we have a spare room."

"why the hell do you care?!" harry shouts. 

"because i know what it's like!" niall shouts back, surprising harry and himself. after a few seconds of awkward silence harry decides to walk away. "tell zayn i don't have another pack." harry says quietly, glancing back at niall. niall walked back to the boys and told them what happened. "maybe we should leave him be for now." louis suggests. they all nod slowly. "are you sure he doesn't have anyone? like at all?" zayn asks. niall shakes his head. "the only person he had is in america. remember we heard him on the phone." the others nod. "okay, okay. we need to get back to school now." liam says, checking the time on his phone. "we only have teo classes, why don't we just go home?" zayn asks with a pout. liam sighs. "fine."


	5. Chapter 5

harry walks around until he gets to the public library. he sighs in relief when he gets inside the warm building. he goes to the very back, his usual place, and drops his bag. he goes on a search for a good book. the library was basically his second home. if he even had one to begin with. he found a book and went back to where he put his bag and sat on the near couch. he fell asleep halfway through the book and was awakened by a library aid. 

"oi, come on, you can't sleep here dude." he said. 

"shit, sorry, didn't even realize i fell asleep." harry said with a chuckle. 

"it's cool." harry looked at his name tag. 'luke' 

"well, luke, thanks for waking me up." he said with a smirk. luke raised an eyebrow and walked away. 'damn he's pretty hot. that lip ring. mmm yes.' harry thought to himself. he checks the time, 7:34. 'how the fuck was i asleep that long?' he asks himself. he starts standing when his phone rings. 

"hello?" he says into the phone.

"hey haz."

"hey ed. how are you?" he says with a yawn. 

"did i wake you?"

"no, no, i'm just tired is all. i came to the library but i fell asleep reading. slept for a few hours actually." he says with a chuckle. 

"oh okay, you haven't been to the library in a while."

"yea, i know." harry says walking away from the couch, grabbing his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder. "are you okay haz?" ed asks seriously. "yea, fine ed."

"then why are you smoking again?" harry sighs. "i guess im just missing you. your my best and only friend ed." harry says passing the library desk. luke's staring at him immensely. harry stops walking and raises an eyebrow at him. "i'm sorry harry." harry rolls his eyes and says, "its' fine ed. it's your job." he walks away, still feeling eyes on him. he looks back and sees another guy lean over the counter and kiss luke. he sits up on the counter. he's also got a name tag oh his nirvana shirt that says 'calum'. 

'they're cute.' harry thinks to himself. "maybe later we can facetime?" ed asks, breaking harry out of his thoughts. "i'm going to a party tonight ed. do you really want to call me when i'm wasted?" he asks in reply, while walking out the door. "well, you always have been a happy drunk haz. i don't think i'd mind. just make sure to eat something before you get there."

"i will, i've got a few bucks." harry says pulling out the money he has left. at least five bucks. 

"okay good. call me when your wasted! got to go haz! love you!"

"love you too ed bye!" he yells with a smile on his face. he starts going through peoples stories on snapchat, seeing if there's any parties anywhere. it wasn't raining but there was thunder and lightning. harry starts shivering just as he walks across the street to a convenience store. he buys a water bottle and steals a sandwich. he walks out and goes back to his phone. he found out that a kid named ashton irwin is throwing a party at eight so he starts walking in the direction of the house. as he walks, he eats his stolen sandwich and drinks the water. he gets there at around eight thirty and starts taking shots.


End file.
